// kick often//

to start with few words would probably be the best way to deceive myself as well as any potential readers into believing this outlet will be anything short of prolifically unnecessary, so i think that’s just the ticket for me tonight. then again, i’ve never been good at limiting myself. maybe that’s why i’m up at all hours of the night, night after night. maybe that’s why i feel like a piece of butter spread over too much bread. and maybe that’s why i’d let myself fall for the unavailable. yes, i’m talking about a “her”. 

i spent the day in solitary today. on days like today people bum me out almost as much as being alone bums me out. there’s something inherently depressing about how much time and money we spend shutting ourselves off from the rest of mankind and then turn around and throw away almost all we’ve just earned trying to find some meaningful connection to humanity. why would i be writing this if i lived in a tent village surrounded by everyone i’d ever known? this simple answer is somewhat embarrassing; i wouldn’t. 

human beings are an infinite source of humor and tragedy. and sometimes the two are hard to tell apart. 

the truth is, i’m a mass of contradictions, just like everyone else i know. and tomorrow i’ll be a happy-go-lucky, jaunty, even mercurial spry young lad with a bounce in my step, a whistle on my lips, and little recollection of the few sombre thoughts that passed through my thick skull, down my long and under-toned arms (both muscular and skin color wise), and out my calloused fingers just a few short hours and one long blink ago.

but as is the case for most of us here on earth, it is both my blessing and my curse to be confined to the moment. and so in this moment i commence. and i welcome anyone with half the notion to join me in doing so, because although i can’t promise you this will lead you anywhere, i can give you my word it just might be worth the ride.